YEN

I could play the background I could play the background 'Cause I know sometimes I get in the way So won't You take the lead, lead, lead? So won't You take the lead, lead, lead? And I could play the background, background And you could take the lead. It's evident you run the show, so let me back down You take the leading role, and I'll play the background I know I miss my cues, know I forget my lines I'm sticking to your script, and I'm reading all your signs (Aye) I don't need my name in lights, (Aye) I don't need a starring role Why gain the whole wide world, If I'm just going lose my soul? And my ways ain't purified, don't live according to Your Word I can't endure this life without Your wisdom being heard So word to every dancer for a pop star 'Cause we al l play the background, but mine's a rockstar Yeah, so if you need me I'll be stage right Praying the whole world would start embracing stage fright So let me fall ba...

A boy says to a girl, "So, sex at my place?" "Yeah!" "Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks we're making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?" Later on the girl is yelling, "Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!" The younger brother says, "Stop making sandwiches! You're getting mayo all over my bed!" After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that ...

A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.👅👅

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629." 👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯👯

"We're Young And Beautiful" While we're young and beautiful, Kiss me like you mean it, Treat me like I'm special, Cover me with sweetness, Cause a time will come, When we're not so young, and beautiful, While we're young and beautiful, Living free and easy, Here without a worry, Dancing in our bare feet, Cause when the summer's done, We might not be so young, and beautiful. [CHORUS:] It's a crazy ride, And baby, you and I, Are keeping our sweet love alive, Tonight, while we're young and beautiful. While we're young and beautiful, We'll party down on Main street, Wearing next to nothing, Feeling every heart beat, Having fun, while we're still young and beautiful. [CHORUS:] It's a crazy ride, And baby, you and I, Are keeping our sweet love alive, Tonight, while we're young and beautiful. Beautiful, Beautiful, Young and beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful, Young and beautiful. [CHORUS:] It...

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati on a snow white Christmas Eve Going home to see her mama and her daddy with the baby in the backseat Fifty miles to go, and she was running low on faith and gasoline It'd been a long hard year She had a lot on her mind, and she didn't pay attention She was going way too fast Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass She saw both their lives flash before her eyes She didn't even have time to cry She was so scared She threw her hands up in the air Jesus, take the wheel Take it from my hands 'Cause I can't do this on my own I'm letting go So give me one more chance And save me from this road I'm on Jesus, take the wheel It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder And the car came to a stop She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock And for the first time in a long time She bowed her head to pray She said, "I'm sorry for th...

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

A family is at the dinner table . The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

THE Sixth Book of Moses. MOSES' MAGICAL SPIRIT-ART. Translated from the Ancient Hebrew The Seven Seals of the Spirits MAGIA ALBA ET NIGRA UNIVERSALIS SEU NECROMANTIA That is, that which embraces the whole of the White and Black Art, (Black Magic,) or the Necromancy of all Ministering Angels and Spirits; how to cite and desire the nine Choruses of the good angels and spirits, Saturn, Jupiter, Mars, Sun, Venus, Mercury, and Moon. The most serviceable angels are SALATHEEL, MICHAEL, RAPHAEL, URIEL, together with the Necromancy of the black magic of the best Ministering Spirits in the Chymia et Alchymia of Moses and Aaron. That which was hidden from David, the father of Solomon, by the High Priest SADOCK, as the highest mystery, but which was finally found in the year 330 A.D., among others, by the first Christian Emperor Constantine the Great, and sent to Pope Sylvester at Rome, after its translation under Julius II, Pontifice Maximus. Typis Manabilis sub poena excommuni...